To: Halaster of Undermountain

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To: Halaster of Undermountain

Post by Dalvyn » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:59 pm

IC Notes: A copy of the story goes to the scribes at the Font of Knowledge first for editing sakes and for preservation. And then a copy is submitted to the publishers to gain their quills in a wider release of the tale. Rani was asked by the Mad Mage Halaster to write a story about four "cockroaches" who invaded the Undermountain looting. He wanted to be entertained and to seal their names with the idiocy involved. Rani did her best, as she did not really know any of the people And well... he is the Mad Mage.

Here's the Story: (With forum editing for your convenience)

In the Great Kitchen of the Gods there is always a treat,
Sausages, vegetables, creams of all shapes and kinds.
Shared equally with all,
even the bugs and the slugs never leave without a belly full.

So when four young cockroaches leave the Kitchen
listening to the call of adventure,
it does stand to wonder, how they are going to be fed at all?

Then there is a grand idea!
The short squat one, the dwarf of the group suggested it first.
"Everyone has a kitchen, for everyone must have food!"
He flexed his metal wings and added, "We could always go into
another's kitchen, and surely they would offer us the scraps that fall."
The slender cockroach, with indescribable colored hair, nodded quickly in
agreement. "It is our just and right place in the world. We clean up the
scraps and take them to share with others. Surely they cannot fault us."

It was agreed between the four, that they would go off and seek another's
kitchen. They did find one, following the squat one's feelers. He found one
buried deep within a rock face. It had more goo and gore than one could
possible eat in one sitting. All the more fun for them all. For this meant
that there was plenty between the four, and more to spread around to their
fellow cockroaches outside.

It wasn't meant to be a game. Yet, survival became a game as the cockroaches
received more and more renown from their fellows upon exiting the dangerous
kitchen alive. The second in command, Ara, for now they had names. (They
were important people now! ) He went to
their leader, the duty bound cockroach with silver traced along his wings.
"Flo, my liege... what we have will not do. We must go further into the
depths of the kitchen. That is where the true grub lies!"

The silver etched leader considered.
He considered more.
And even still longer, did he consider.

And while he was considering, the stout one, and the indescribable one, Stout
Dwarf and Lrith went wandering back into the depths of the kitchen. What did
they need the leader's guidance for? They knew this place like the back of
their wings. They did not need him any more.

Down, down, down, into the depths they went.
And here's the thing about kitchens....
They have Cooks.
And Cooks get angry when they see pests feasting when they have not been
given permission.

As Stout Dwarf and Lrith entered the kitchen, a piece of wood went down over
their entrance. Trapped inside, confused as to what had occurred, Lrith did not
even notice when the boot came down until it was too late.

Thump! And there was nothing left of Lrith but goo.
This would be disappointing to less ingenious cockroach.
Stout Dwarf was not this man. He scooped up the remains of
Lrith and shoved him into a bag. Cackling, he surveyed the kitchen,
greed cast into his eyes.

Thud - Splat! And Stout Dwarf was no more.

When Ara and Flo, the Leader of their band, learned their mates were stomped upon, they marched
into the depths of the Kitchen, murder in their eyes. They were going to
find the boot that crushed their friends. They pounded down the door,
screaming rage and pain.

And what did they find?
Thump! Thump!

And here is the end of the tale of the Cockroaches Four.
The moral of the story being two fold.
Other Kitchens can contain a great deal of new and exciting foods.
However, harvest these delectables at your own risk.
For Kitchens always come with Cooks!

--The Cockroaches Four by Rani of Shadowdale
Made with compliments to the mage Halaster

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