Elven Marriage/Bonding

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Lerytha
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Elven Marriage/Bonding

Post by Lerytha » Wed May 04, 2005 4:55 pm

Hello. Perhaps having left it to the last moment, I was just wondering if any of the keen elven archivists (Andreas, etc) knew anything about elven bonding ceremonies? If not, I have a rough idea how to RP it, but if there is a canon way, I suppose it's better to do it along that route.

Thanks in advance for anything you can tell me about the actual ceremony of the "marriage" (I know they bond instead of marrying, but is there any ritual, etc?)

Thanks again!
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Kregor
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Elven Marriage/Bonding

Post by Kregor » Wed May 04, 2005 10:33 pm

Below I have included excerpt on marriage from "Complete Book of Elves", 2nd ed.

Of note, marriage is not bonding, or vice versa. They can happen at the same time, but they are two separate phenomena. An elf can choose to bond with someone they are not married to, and does not have to be Elven. And an elf can choose to marry someone, but not bond with them (many elves who marry humans may choose not to bond, feeling it is futile to bestow such upon someone so short lived). Although two elves do form a communion in their marriage -- a somewhat lesser form of bonding, where they attune to each other's emotions and needs, but not their exact thoughts.

I posted the excerpt on communion on another thread:
http://www.forgottenkingdoms.com/board/ ... php?t=3502

That said, here is what the sourcebook says on marriage... there's not really a detailed sample of a ceremony, but they do describe one. And it makes logical sense, that the RP of becoming bonded would accompany your marriage, of you wish your two chars to bestow that gift one to another.
Celebration of Marriage

Marriage is an occasion for great joy among elves, for the union symbolizes the continuation of the elf race. Those who disrupt this ceremony earn the wrath of the elves forevermore, and they will hunt such marauders and their kin for eternity. Marriage is a rarer occurrence for elves than the short-lived races, and there are few things so dangerous as to profane the sanctity of this ritual. Sometimes weddings occur to seal treaties and for other diplomatic purposes, but more often it is through love that elves achieve a state of marriage.
Marriage between elves lasts until one partner dies. (There has been only one known divorce in the last three thousand years, and that was between two extremely opinionated grey elves.) Elves rarely take a new partner after the death of a mate. Their vows bind more than honor; they bind the spirit and heart of each to the other. By taking this step, many elves give up some measure of their individualism. Often, only the most ardent and devout lovers choose the path of marriage; others prefer a less formal arrangement.
The marriage ceremony itself is typically formal (although it can be as informal as the lovers like) and is presided over by elf priests of Helani Celanil. The priests themselves serve no purpose at the ceremony other than as witnesses, for it is the partners who perform the ritual and the binding vows.
In a true elven marriage of love, vows tie the spirits of the loved ones together, allowing them access to the other's inner self. This is a form of the elven ability communion. Wedded elves become fully aware of their partner's needs and emotions, allowing them to anticipate and fulfill these needs. They are not aware of the other's exact thoughts.
Because elves relive their past through the reverie, the circumstances attracting one elf to another are always fresh. Thus, elves seldom fall out of love. Only the gravest of tragedies and disloyalties can tear an elf couple apart. Although they might have disagreements and even fights, they continue to love each other.
But elves can grow tired of a partner, even when they are joined spiritually and have become more intimate than any non-elf could suspect. Elves reignite the spark of passion and love through absence. For stretches of time, one partner in an elven marriage will live apart; this allows both elves to gain time to themselves so that they might grow as individuals. When the two rejoin, they shower complete love and affection upon the other.
Elves also tend to spend time away from their loved ones in order to make their time together that much more precious. After all, there are fewer sure ways to grow bored of a person than to spend hundreds of years with him or her. Time alone allows them to think on the relationship and to experience new things to share with their mates, thus keeping the marriage fresh and vital.

"Complete Book of Elves" pg. 52
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Lerytha
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Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 8:37 am
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Post by Lerytha » Thu May 05, 2005 3:54 pm

Thank you very much... that is a great help!
If you have knowledge, let others light their candles with it.

--Sir Winston Churchill

"This place is boring, I'm gonna go eat whatever I can find laying on the ground"

-- Hoildric

Cacie asks Larethiel 'Did that air just bow to you?
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