Confirmation -- Nixa's Soul Search

[Aysa]

This is the most recent (and the last of the logs for now).

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Andreas says to you 'Master Jethral believes thy desire to join the Church of Sune to be any exercise in thy personal vanity, to hath thy beauty restored.'

Nixa tilts her head, 'I can be hopeful that She will find favor with me.' She shakes her head, 'But I will live with my actions and the consequences thereof.' She shrugs, 'If my beauty is never restored, I still would not change my mind about Sune being my hopes for redemption. And I will share with you why.'.

Andreas nods, giving you an inquisitive look.

Nixa looks down for a moment, 'I sought to deliver a very cruel and sadistic retaliation to Raz. A halfling that murdered me in the Peaks.' She looks back up, 'I did not want his death. I wanted him alive so that I could cast enervation repeatedly upon him repeatedly, and keep him chained up in the Temple of the Barbed Wire until he begged for his death, only so I could then turn around and sell him into slavery' ." She holds up her hand as if she has more.

Andreas's brow furrows but he merely nods, remaining silent as you speaks.

Nixa exhales, 'And the fate I designed for my Father and my brother was worse. A lot worse. People would have died in mass quantities under the illusion of war, just so I could hurt my Father.' She frowns, 'So when I say I was devoted to pain, I was. Wholeheartedly.' She exhales, 'I do not want that life. I feel that the life I want is... a life of love. How can I not seek out Sune?'.

Nixa frowns, 'I am certain that my heart is as black as you saw it to be. I am fearful that She will turn away in disgust and not give me a second thought.'.

Andreas remains quiet a few moments more, ruminating over your words. ''Tis oft difficult to give up such deep seated feelings, m'lady. That thou dost consider it speaks well of thee in mine eyes.'.

Nixa shakes her head, 'But that does not change anything.'.

Andreas says to you 'Have faith, m'lady, an' continue to do good works an' spread Her love.'

Nixa exhales, 'I could have easily buried myself in the teachings of Mystra. I have spoken many times with Gesine about Mystra. I have studied Her teachings as well. In fact, I started down this evil path because my Father did not wish for me to be a wizard. So it would' make sense to follow Mystra."

Andreas nods at you.

Nixa shrugs, 'The problem? It would not stop or change the heart that I have... er... had. I could have still given into the darkness.'.

Andreas nods at you.

Nixa exhales, 'So... I seek out Lady Firehair for love.' She tilts her head, 'And I can be hopeful that my outer shell blossoms again, but my choice is resolute not based on that hope.'.

Andreas nods at you.

Andreas says to you 'Continue to do good works in Her name an' I shall pray that She takes notice of thee an' thine efforts.'

Andreas says to you 'I thank thee for this time to speak, m'lady.'

Nixa nods her head, 'That is the plan.' She sighs, 'And I know nothing of law or punishment for collusion or anything along those lines.' She shrugs, 'But it may reach your ears that I put a bounty on Jethral. I confess to you that I openly complained about Jethral and his antics. No different than someone complaining about a jerk in public. Nothing death worthy or anything like that.' She shrugs, 'Dasyra added her own comments about Jethral. Lady Myn thought it would be entertaining to put a bounty on Jethral's head.'.

Nixa exhales, 'I did not complain or object to the bounty. I do not even know if she ever followed through. But I did not specifically put the bounty on his head. However, if that is collusion, then I will accept the matter of law or... judgment... or whatever for my part."

Andreas says to you 'Methinks a complaint is not the same as placing a bounty 'pon his head, m'lady.'

Andreas says to you 'The lady Myn is evil through an' through. I am not surprised that she wouldst do such a thing.'

Nixa nods her head, 'Well, again... I openly admit or will openly admit to my past crimes, my past sins and accept whatever consequence that comes with it. It is a part of my personal path to redemption. I can not find love without accepting my role in the pain that I have caused."

Andreas nods at you.

Andreas asks you 'Hast the Heartwarder spoken with thee?'

Nixa nods her head, 'I have spoken with Heartwarder Rylee. She says there is room for everyone in Lady Firehair's fold, regardless of their appearance. She has been positive, and she will be praying for me.' She shrugs, 'That is all I can ask.'.
You say 'It is why I wish to write on the Ugly Duckling conundrum of the Sunite faith.'

Andreas nods with a smile. 'I shall pray for thee as well, m'lady. I hath been blessed by Lady Firehair an' I am grateful for it.'.

Nixa smiles gently, 'I just hope that She does not turn away from me.'.

Andreas says to you 'I pray She shall not as well.'

Nixa exhales, 'Is there anything else that you require? Otherwise, I should seek out Delysia. The better of the two half-drow that I know.'.

Andreas shakes his head in response to you.

Andreas says to you ''Tis all, m'lady. May The Watcher hath mercy 'pon thee.'

Andreas bows before you.

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[Harvin]

Wow, a very complex character taking a 180 degree turn, who went through quite a harsh time. All the more reason to see, how the events will unfold.